Let’s face it, there is nothing better than having a laugh at other people’s hilarious sex stories. The satisfaction…and relief of knowing that it didn’t happen to you, only adds to the joy. Now, I don’t know about you, but I get lost in Reddit stories. Especially embarrassing sex stories! This is why I’ve scoured Reddit for some of the best and most hilarious sex stories out there.
Of course, there is currently a pandemic, so there may be fewer awkward hook-ups going on right now. But, that hasn’t stopped the people of Reddit from reminiscing about some of their shameful and often painful sexual encounters.
I think it’s important to remember that sex can be funny. It’s not always movie-style encounters like Rose and Jack in that steamy car, kind of sex. Sometimes it’s loud, and sometimes people get hurt and sometimes your body makes noises you can’t control. The best advice I can give you… is laugh. Pretending it didn’t happen or taking it too seriously, just makes it worse. At least, you can add it to Reddit funny sex stories later, to give everyone else a laugh too.
So here are some of the best funny stories I found whilst searching on Reddit:
Warning, these stories are definitely not safe for work!
Embarrassing Sex Stories to Make you Cringe
Sometimes embarrassing sex stories are inevitable, especially when you venture for some nookie outside the bedroom.
When all you wanted was a roll in the hay but a colony of insects decided to join the party!
Reddit user: lederpette43
“Me and my boyfriend were going to lay a blanket out outside beside a hay bale in the middle of a park where no one could see us and have sex. I waited for him to get everything ready and I was leaning on the hay bale. When he went to kiss me, he looked terrified and yelled, WHAT THE F*** IS ON YOU?! I looked down, and I was absolutely COVERED in thousands of fire ants. I was standing in an ant pile. I stripped to my panties and bra and ran out in the field trying to get away and people saw me. Talk about embarrassing.”
Imagine calling out the wrong name during sex! This Reddit user didn’t have to imagine it…the horror!
Reddit user: stickyfingerJew
“Couple of weeks ago I accidentally called my partner by the wrong name during sex (there was alcohol involved). I remember he said, “WTF! I’m ________!!” and I said “Naaah you’re _________.”
Trigger warning: This may make you vomit.
Reddit user: Hiphoppington
“My lady at the time and I were heavy into some delightful 69 action. She had been a little sick and we had had lunch earlier. Whatever she ate I guess really upset her stomach and right as she’s coming she loses control of her body and she just sxxt on my face.”
There’s Nothing Worse Than Getting Caught in the Act
Although sex is nothing to be embarrassed about, it is incredibly awkward when you’re ‘caught in the act; either by housemates, your parents or in some instances the neighbours.
This Reddit user met his new neighbour after indulging in some afternoon delight.
Reddit User: AnarchistBusinessMan
“I lived in this apartment with paper-thin walls with an ex-partner. We had a round of not loud sex but still loud enough. Once finished I heard a knock at the door and answered to find my new neighbour asking if I like to come in for a drink. I agree and we walk into her apartment where she and her partner are having a small house warming party. She introduces me as the neighbour that everyone just overheard having sex. The whole party erupts in applause, shouts and high fives. This is how I meet my new neighbours.”
Sex Stories That Will Make You Laugh
Whilst researching Reddit funny sex stories, some of them, actually make me snort with laughter. Here were my top 4 funny sex stories.
Well at least this Reddit user got their steps in!
Reddit user: Dead_Mans_Pudding
“I had recently got my first Fitbit. I met a girl on Tinder and we ended up back at my place on my couch, right near the end of our adventure my phone dinged, so after we finished I picked up my phone and burst out laughing, the ding was the Fitbit app congratulating me on attaining the Ferris Wheel badge, 75 sets of stairs in a day. We had a good chuckle.”
The dangers of having kids that no one tells you about!
Reddit User: eebling
“My husband and I were going at it doggy style and my legs were between his and as I raised my feet off the bed my heels touched his ass, it frightened the life out of him because he thinks the kids have woken up and tapped his bum.”
You have to admire a woman who brings snacks to the bedroom.
Reddit User: AmicableSnowman
“I removed her bra for the first time to reveal some exquisite breasts, only with some sizable chunks of prawn cocktail crisps stuck to them that had fallen down her top several hours earlier. We had a good giggle, then a little snack.”
This Reddit user had a sexual encounter that was more sitcom than sexy.
Reddit user: DMTrious
“I had one of those couches that pulled out into a bed. We were going at it and I tried to pull her on top of me and apparently the two of us put too much weight on the back of the bed and it shot straight up and we fell into the couch.”
Annoying Pets Getting in the Way
It turns out pets getting in the way of people’s nookie is common, but it doesn’t make them any less funny. Here are some of the best ones I could find.
This person found out the hard way, that pets make sex super awkward. But again a funny sex story to share with the rest of us.
Reddit user: Trickut
“Me and my girlfriend were house sitting for her aunt, who has 2 dogs. We were having sex on her aunt’s bed and both dogs hopped up and sat in front of us and watched. My girlfriend saw me eyeballing them back and she grabbed my face and said “Don’t look at them!!!” I couldn’t take it seriously and we both burst out laughing.”
This casual encounter with a fluffy that ruined the mood.
Reddit User: Q_Sal_Murr_Joe
“Me and this girl are hooking up and we’re having fun. Her dog waltzes into the room, stares curiously, then starts licking my elbow. We both start laughing.”
Unfortunately, they cause injuries too!
Reddit User: zoidberg005
“I was fooling around with my gf, my cat got jealous, jumped up and bit her on the arm.”
And finally, this pet story takes cat jealousy to a whole new level!
Reddit User: [deleted]
“I was seeing this girl and we were FWB, the first few times when I stripped down and we got into it her cat would piss in my underwear. Then I started stacking my shit up high, and the cat pissed in my shoes.
So I bought two plastic totes and threw all my stuff in them when we got started. Then the cat would jump up on the bed and watch me. I threw the cat out a few times but it would cry and cry.”
WTF Moments – You Wouldn’t Believe!
Sometimes there are sex stories that literally make your jaw drop. Here were some of the most shocking ones I found.
This guy wasn’t expecting a free prize!
Reddit User: mackie1792
“I was having sex with my girlfriend, doggy-style, and pulled out. There was a plastic ring around my cxxx. She said it was her birth control thingy. I felt like I had won a carnival game.”
This couple literally made the ground shake.
Reddit User: whatwouldbuddhado
“It was one of the few times we both came at the same time. Right when we came the walls shook. We both stared at each other wondering if we both experienced that. Turns out it was a small earthquake, but the timing was uncanny.”
Imagine the shock of having someone literally fall from the ceiling into your steamy session
Reddit User: [deleted]
“My boyfriend’s fraternity brother FELL THROUGH THE CEILING and onto the bed with us mid-sex. We were naked, he was super drunk, we were all covered in an unpleasant combo of lube, drywall and insulation. Not what I expected for my first threesome, but you take what you can get, I guess?”
This girl is eye-poppingly good in bed!
Reddit User: mcnunu
“Was going at it reverse cowgirl, and turned around to find what I thought was my SO’s eye-popping out of his eye socket. Rushed him to the doctor only to find out that he has severe pollen allergies which resulted in a fluid bubble building up in the membrane of his eye. We were nowhere near pollen. TL;DR fxxxxd my SO’s eye out.”
Funny Sex Stories That Make You Say…Ouch
Having sex has its risks, and one of those risks is injuries!
Like this girl who ended up with her head in the drywall!
Reddit User: Powellwx
“I was having sex in my college apartment with my longtime girlfriend. I pounded her head into the drywall and made a dent/hole. Well, with the noise of the thump she was embarrassed and left without speaking to my roommates. My two roommates thought we were fighting and they thought I punched the wall. I explained it to them and showed them the hole.
They then gave my girlfriend an old bike helmet for her birthday with “Rough fxxxxr” painted on it. She then had to explain that to her sorority sisters.”
This poor girl had no idea of the dangers of no gag reflex.
Reddit User: chiquitita-flazeda
“It was my first time giving a guy oral and I was very drunk at a house party, we’d been hooking up all night then he took me behind a shed. He got a bit over-excited at my lack of gag reflex (which I didn’t know I had) and commenced to face fxxx me until my jaw dislocated and my lip split.
It sounds really bad but hey I’ve never had a lockjaw. It did earn me the terrible nickname ‘Shed Head’ though…”
This situation got out of hand and painful, very quickly…
Reddit User: Madrojian
“It was immediately post-coitus, and she tried to tickle me; we’re laughing and playing around and she tries to catch me in the bed. I tried to duck past her arms and I accidentally full-on headbutt her right in the crotch. On an unrelated note, I discovered that it’s really uncomfortable to be hit there even if you don’t have testicles. Luckily, we laughed about it later, and we both got a story out of it.”
The Ultimate Cringey Sex Story
And I will leave you with one final sex story that horrified me.
Reddit User: ShirleyEugest
“Was straddling my boyfriend on an air mattress in a lake and felt his fingers wiggling around my butt hole… He had never done that before so I thought it was odd but then I realized both his hands were on my hips. Reached back and grabbed… A leech.”
So, that’s my round-up of funny sex stories on Reddit, that I found hilarious. Of course, it’s always embarrassing at the moment, but as long as you can laugh about it after and find the funny side to it. It’s a story you’ll be telling for years.
*Some of these stories have been edited for length and clarity