In our latest video interview, we sat down with the lovely Sarah Louise Ryan – renowned international matchmaker and founder of Love Connections Global.
Dealing with heartbreak? Struggling to feel positive about dating during COVID? Not sure if Your One is actually The One? Settle in, because we’re delving into it all. Watch the video below or scroll down for our favourite takeaways…
Who is Sarah Louise Ryan?
Sarah’s a dating and relationship specialist and she’s been in the business of matchmaking for 10 years. Her expertise has been sought out by the likes of Forbes, CBS News, BBC Radio, Business Insider, Psychologies, London Evening Standard, and Cosmopolitan. And that’s just naming a few.
Sarah on…healing from heartbreak
We were keen to understand Sarah’s approach to mending a broken heart, and she likens heartbreak to losing someone we love from the world, and talks passionately about moving through the grief cycle. Despite the physical and emotional pain it all brings, she warns us not to rush through this process to get to a place of happiness – a natural response. There are three tried-and-tested steps she recommends…
1. Sit in your feelings
Sarah believes it’s crucial to accept and acknowledge the emotions as they come. They’re called feelings because we are meant to FEEL every single one of them, she says. Lots of people don’t acknowledge the fact that this is a loss. Whether it was your decision or theirs, or it was amicable. It’s a void presenting itself in your life. You have to move through the grief cycle and really get to grips with how you’re feeling.
2. Create a routine
Heartbreak makes us feel out of control. You need to create a routine that you can control, and know that every day will feel different emotionally. One day you’ll have loads of energy, one day you won’t want to get in the shower, or out of bed. That’s normal and it’s ok. Allow yourself to feel ok with it. Note the things that you are in control of day to day. Plan hour by hour and keep your body physically moving. Put your body through some paces, so you can feel some kind of physical endurance instead of emotional pain. Get those endorphins flowing!
3. Stay connected
It’s so easy to feel like no-one’s ever experienced a pain like this, but everyone has or will experience a loss – heartbreak or not. It’s helpful to acknowledge this. So many can connect with that pain. Keep talking, do NOT keep it in. Share your story. Share how you’re feeling – the good, the bad and the ugly.
“When you get to the acceptance stage, when you’ve stopped speaking to – or stalking your ex online – comparing your moving on to theirs, that’s when you can start to accept that you’re solo now, and you are going to pave the way for yourself! That you’re going to become more confident, more sure about who you are now and what you don’t want.”
“Start taking stock about that relationship – what served you, what didn’t? What do you want next and who might it be that you welcome into your life?”
Sarah on…the Law of Attraction
We asked Sarah for her take on the Law of Attraction, something she’s known to put to use with her clients…
“The law of attraction is all about getting back into your life what you put out there into the world, because everything is energy. I’m ever the realist, and I think people look at Matchmakers and think oh gosh they’re romantic, and that energy sounds so ‘woo woo’, but actually, I’m more practical when it comes to love and life and romance. What I would say is be the energy you want to attract.”
Ultimately, Sarah says we have to be really conscious about what kind of energy we’re putting out into the world – whether we’re single or coupled up. Here’s how you can use the Law of Attraction to improve your mindset on dating and relationships…
1. Don’t come from a place of lack
Work towards putting out what you want to attract in the world. Don’t come from a place of lack. In other words, stop complaining about a lack of money, for example, as you’ll continue to attract and experience a lack thereof. It’s the same with love.
2. Practice gratitude
Instead of focusing on lack, Sarah says we must work to feel abundant, and that comes by practising gratitude. Feeling grateful for the now, grateful for what you’ve got, grateful for who you are and who you’re becoming. That gratitude will show up in positive energy, and who doesn’t want to attract someone like that? If you’re looking to attract a partner, you have to be the energy that you want to attract.
“Whatever you’re putting out into the world – whether you’re single or in a relationship – you’ll get that energy back.”
Sarah on…who symbolises ‘couple goals’
David and Patrick, Schitt’s Creek
“They are authentically in love, they show who they are, they fully show up for each other – warts and all. They are fearless in their pursuit of each other, they know that life isn’t perfect.”
“Through thick and thin, politically and not, I think they seem to always have each other’s backs. They’ve been really open about how their marriage needed counselling, they’re been really open about their loyalty and security to each other, also about their insecurities in themselves as human beings. They’re not perfect and they accept that the world isn’t a perfect place but they still always come back together. They’re always on solid ground together in a partnership through thick and thin.”
If you want to find out more about Sarah and her matchmaking services, check out Love Connections Global, or head to her website. Alternatively, follow her on Twitter for regular tips on dating and relationships.